Merged with nature
“As I thought it previously, it turned out to be a very insightful and liberating experience. The concept is as simple as the feelings and sensations this experience evoked in me. Being blindfolded is so simple and clear, still so powerful. The sense of sight being excluded or put on standby, I relied mostly on touching, but hearing and tasting as well. So this experience could be characterized as being primarily tactile, though it’s much more than that. By the very nature of touching, I could generate a much closer connection with nature than it happens normally when the eyes are used. At first, I have to admit I felt a little bit lost and was afraid of the space I was in, since it was unfamiliar to me from this altered viewpoint. I didn’t know what to do but I knew well that I didn’t want to do anything to look good or to perform something for the sake of others, basically to live up to any expectations. In fact, I didn’t intend to ‘perform’ at all. I just let go of my expectations created by my mind, knowing that this was the only way to purify my thoughts and feelings and become absolutely present. This very presence provided me with great wonders that I would normally overlook. In the beginning I explored my surrounding rather carefully, feeling limited by the space to discover, since I was lead by my fear not by my intuition. Consciously, I wanted to try out different things out of the ordinary because otherwise I would certainly be disgusted by the sight: this is how I touched the ground, took soil in my hands while ants or other insects were crawling on me, put pieces of branches into my mouth or tasted the plants, so I stepped out of my comfort zone where the true adventure begins. Also, I tried to use rain as an incentive rather than a distraction and inconvenience.
I touched everything around me, mostly the trees and branches, plants and water, I cuddled the trees and kissed them, even tasted them, along with the plants and flowers (or who knows what), smelled them, etc. I was perceptive to the noises and sounds of the river Danube, I let my body react to it effortlessly and unforcefully, which turned into a dance. That wouldn’t be something extraordinary, would it? But all these sensations were enhanced by this simple step of excluding sight. Then, a sound of dripping water attracted my attention, like an oasis in the desert or magic fountain, and I followed the sound. In my visual mind, I pictured it as much more magical and enticing than it really was, which is true to everything else I touched, tasted, felt with my mental eyes. I was aware of some kind of space but visually it was quite different, had qualities that I totally disregarded during my dance with nature. For example, the litter, rubbish that was at some places, since who wants to see that anyway, and when you create a world on your own, a private one, for yourself, you leave out the ghastly details of man-made mistakes of the modern consumerist society. I felt relaxed and I didn’t care about dirt, rain, or coldness, my clothes or other seemingly unimportant things, which are more relevant for sight than the other senses. Therefore, I was free and peaceful. At some points I was struggling with my thoughts not relevant to nature, I drifted away, but I didn’t judge myself and let go of the distractive thoughts. It was easier in this way than at other times in life, in the noisy, bustling, dirty city, for instance, or among people. At the very points where I totally immersed in natural sounds, branches, smells, I could indulge in the pleasures of nature and serenity. I felt pure and beyond right-or-wrong distinction, what’s more I found my personal, worldly thoughts completely interfering and unnecessary, even banal. There was no place for them in this environment of blessing and purity. My only aim was, if I had any, to be part of nature, to identify with every single entity I was surrounded by or I came across on my way, through the 4 senses left.
This project made me realize that I tend to perceive everything either through that very sense of seeing or all the senses become a combination of one sense, everything merges into one thus the effect lessens.. Throughout blind fields moments of freedom, thinking, boredom, excitement, curiosity, peace alternated. It could be characterized by my exploratory urge, purification and innocent searching, serene curiosity, emptiness in a good and bad sense. At some points boredom and fatigue interfered, also after a while I lost a bit of the curiosity I was inspired and motivated by in the first place. I felt that some energy and feelings were left blocked, or I just couldn’t channel them, but all in all I came to terms with my outer thoughts, I felt pure, energized and vibrant after this uplifting experience. I had more connection through other senses and I could get in touch with nature at a higher level, a much subtle and refined one- the level of beyond the senses, more spiritual than physical. I danced with nature, by nature and for it. I lost the strong sense of personality, the differences between me and those around me. I just wished to stay in the moment and more or less I succeeded. Without the distraction of sight, I had a chance to experience the higher Me merged with nature. When I took off the blindfold, I went almost blind, still my eyes were very relaxed and I felt peace and harmony. I was overwhelmed by the universe I had created in me.”
May 7, 2017